Mortality

https://sharedwonder.wordpress.com/2015/12/10/oh-death/

Conceived Under the Snow Moon

The restlessness in the air was electric as the moon broke the eastern horizon. In the final stages of waxing it fought through the clouds to illuminate the stage for a night of intense emotional dissent. I could here them getting closer as the clouds relinquished their stronghold on the virgin sky. The spirits and dreams began to gather in the north, giving audience to the battle, dancing and waving their emerald and amythyst flags in anticipation. The wolves were here to fight. Alpha female, the white and glowing like the moon was the first to leave the safety of the forest cover. Across the frozen meadow the Alpha male, black as the night sky gave a long painful howl, giving voice to his intent. The flags fell to the earth as the two bodies collided. Fangs through flesh. The black wolf strikes first, unprovoked. Surprised by her opponent's rashness the white wolf has no choice but to retaliate, a long gash opens above the eye of the dark beast, blood and tears mix and fall to the snow, staining the purity of the powdery duvet with pain and trauma. The battle rages on for much of the night, neither animal ever gaining the upper hand. Neither animal prepared to submit. The elders and the dreamers vanish, leaving the stadium quiet but for the high pitched yelps as fur is torn from coat. They grow tired as the moon ripens towards the west and begins it's decent. The fight is over, at least for know. The moon now fully ripe and hovering above the westward horizon casts a yellow glow over the meadow. Serenity has fallen upon the weary couple as they gently and empatheticly tend to each other's wounds. Each wolf now fully aware of their endearment to their partner. Now a sense of warmth, kindness and love overwhelms the pair as the sky begins to awaken from it's deep slumber. They mate as the moon sinks into the abyss and the suns fiery glow floods over them. The seeds of a new generation are sown. Her womb receives the offering, a promise of her wild being. Now they rest,  still intertwined in a reassuring embrace only known by lovers of such dedication.
A new day is born.

This is a story of duality. Some of the players are real, the moon, the aurora and the earthly elements. The wolves I speak of are in my soul. This battle took place last night in my mind as I worked an overnight shift, 1500km away from home. The wolves represent the ebb and flood of emotions that run through me. I am often plague by loneliness, anger and fear. I am also blessed with a super loving family and social network. There is rarely a winner in this battle. There is only new opportunity. The gestation period of a mother wolf is about three months. These two lovers have given me a gift. A new litter will be born out of my intent to grow. For I know that when I use my heart and the spirit as a guide miracles do happen. What these new pups look like completely depends on how I channel my intent.

Design Systems for Liberty: Self Care

     The topic of self care is a crucial building block in the foundation of personal liberty. It is also seldom discussed or glossed over as just another type of resilience, it is a hard topic to nail down since everyone has a slightly different version. In this post I am going to use my own experience as my guide, elaborating on a few important points.

1. You can't help anyone if you can't help yourself.
Giving yourself the love and attention you deserve should be your first priority. I've found it extremely difficult to communicate and be close with friends and family when my emotional or physical fitness are compromised. My work ethic suffers, I stop writing, and a general sense of depression envelopes my world. This is no place to invite another persons problems or worries unless that person is also willing to feel some of your pain, in that case your own issues can often help you overcome them, the problem is the solution. Self care is not always achieved alone. In fact great healing can come from shared experiences. The point is you must consciously make the decision to better yourself first. Without realizing your problem you cannot begin to repair it.

2. Your body and your mind are powerful tools, and they need maintenance.
Many forms of mind/body connecting exercises are out there. Two of the most effective maintenance tools are yoga and breathing exercise. Now I'm not at all an expert on either of these but I can attest to their effectiveness in improving your attitude, strength, sexuality and general health overall. If you want to experience a more balanced sense of being I would strongly recommend learning some of these techniques! I find that morning exercise and grounding helps me maintain focus on my personal health and well being. I am less inclined to act rashly or without prior thought when my mind and body are connected. Sharing this experience with a partner can strengthen relationships as well. The aftereffects of a caring and grounding hug can be felt for days after the event. This can be done with a lover, a friend or an instructor, indeed self care is a group effort!

3.Touch.
Touch can be difficult for many people. Depending on what life has dealt you even the softest caress can bring immediate emotional pain. If this is you then you may not be ready to enter the physical realm of healing, perhaps more mind and body connection could help you get to this step. My belief is that our society has been lead to think that touch is a purely sexual experience and sex is BAD and a SIN so many people may not ever get to experience one of the ultimate tools in the self care kit. A good massage therapist will help you improve your mind body connection and help with your aching bits as well. There is also a fear of being naked in front of another person, let me assure you, you only have to be as naked as you feel comfortable with, you will probably expose your whole life story though so really you have nothing to be ashamed of! Of course massage is only one way that touch can heal us. Simply holding hands and breathing together can be very uplifting. Not all touch is sexual, not all nudity is sexual. Being aware of this will greatly improve your ability to self care. The common thread here is there is someone helping you. Self care takes a community.

4. Sex
Yup, you guessed it. An unhealthy sex life is often the reason we become disengaged with our partners, our jobs and sometimes society as a whole! Sex is such a taboo subject that many people would rather stay in a non sexual marriage than try to fix the problem. Let me tell you the problem is within yourself and you must search it out and repair it if you would like to have a healthy sexual relationship with anyone, ever. For many of us this will mean a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. It will mean combating our beliefs on marriage, religion, male privilege, addiction and education. Sex is one of those all encompassing activities that can either be extremely blissful or completely destructive. I think it's in our best interest to lean heavily on the blissful side of this one! As a 35 year old white male I have to admit I am still exploring many of my previous beliefs on sex. As I read more into it I see the value of the discussion points I have mentioned above. The path to liberty must involve a grounded and thorough understanding of sexuality, for if we neglect this responsibility we truly limit one of the most joyous and invigorating aspects of humanness. As with many other forms of self care sex is a community topic just as much as it is a private one. You will find yourself become more comfortable with it the more uncomfortable you are willing to get. Take your time with this one, it's worth it.

5. Physical Wellness
I could have easily called this section "fitness and diet" but that is too one dimensional. Physical wellness involves fitness and diet but it also includes herbal medicine, social dining, entertaining, laughter, posture, attitude and awareness. Think holistically about what makes a person truly well. Picture you in your best moment, the time you felt most alive, at that point you were well! Perhaps you could be even better! I know I can be. Physical wellness is different than maintenance. Maintenance helps us stay in a positive mind body state. Wellness is what we do to get to that state. It's what we put into our body so we can be the best version of ourselves for ourselves. You will know when you are there but don't beat yourself up about the last five pounds or for quiting with two laps left. Nobody is perfect, I wouldn't want to be.

6. Spiritual Growth
In my world spiritual growth is a critical component of self care. Without going into any detail I will simply say that all of the previous points are made so much better via spiritual pathways. This is one form of self care that can be completely personal and intimate. My spiritual path is completely different than anyone else's, it is indeed what makes me the person I am. It's like a fingerprint on your soul.

     I know I am missing important parts here and left out tonnes of information on this topic, but hey there's always room for part two or three...I hope you found this to be helpful if you are struggling with self care at the moment. Feel free to comment or discuss this on social media. We could all use a real adult discussion on some of these topics, I look forward to your feedback!

We Are Missing Something

     Before I get started today I want to give you a quote from Miles Olsens' book "Unlearn, Rewild" this is an excerpt from the conclusion, it reads as follows. "Everyone knows that in any relationship, if there is a conflict that doesn't get dealt with, if someone is upset but doesn't speak up, things don't get better- they simmer and stew and get worse. If we don't stop and deal with our problems as they arise, making changes and course corrections while we go along, things are going to get more and more difficult until just existing in a miserable lie is too much to handle." He then goes on to write, "The myth of progress tells a story in which everything that came before this moment is useless and obsolete, while everything that comes after will be better."

     This morning before I drove my daughter to school and my wife to work I had an opportunity to walk with my son to his bus stop. The air was fresh and cold for our standards, five degrees below zero, centigrade. A crystalline frost coated the rooftops and gardens in our little neighbourhood. As we approached the roadway, busy with commuter traffic, an eagle began to sing out to the morning sun, or perhaps in salutation to the waning crescent moon that was still bright in the cool dawn sky. My son was in tune with the natural elements as was I. There was enough to be learned from these natural beings that I began to wonder why we are so infatuated with the built environment, the "human construct". The eagle soared above us in the direction of my son's school "why can't I ride him to school Dad?" pondered my son, "Can you summon the eagle?" I respond, answering a question with a question, not thinking that in his mind he probably already did. Children have this superpower, an animal instinct that has been lost in most adults. As he boarded the school bus I knew deep down that he was flying with that eagle today and that eagle will provide him with the spirit he needs to get through his school day. It will because I can't. Today I too must fly.
     My flight is both literal and metaphorical. I'm going away for a job, to contribute to the broken wheel that is modernity. This incessant, grinding machine that robs men of their wild selves, reducing them to hopeless shadows, soullessly dragging their haggard bodies to the trough for the next paycheck. I will play by their rules and give my time, the most valuable thing I possess, to them. To the machine that I despise. The centrifuge of debt. This is my nest, my bed, and in it I will lay. For how long who knows. The choices we make as youth, and while we mature sometimes take time to pay off, perhaps that's how we gain appreciation for the true cost of our actions. I used to be bitter about my debt, resentful to myself for being so "stupid". I have grown to accept it, to learn from it. This doesn't mean I am happy about it. What it does mean is I have to dig in deeper, mining more time, the time my younger self stole from me, without really knowing. Through this turmoil I will teach. Teach the children to retain their wild selves, to lash out against those who wish to tame them. They still have that chance. I haven't lost all hope at least not for them. Unfortunately there are those who cannot be saved. They will sacrifice their lives to the machine, lost souls are difficult to retrieve. I will fly. I will fight and I will make our lives better but not for the sake of progress, at least not the kind of progress that they advertise on tv. Not for the cars, the fake tans and billboard charts. I will fly so they can see what we have done and what we are missing.
     Every sunrise you miss stuck in traffic on the way to your job, every tap of the woodpecker as she searches for grubs to feed her young, the dandelion roots diving deep into the soil the provide nutrients for the surrounding plants (do you really want to spray roundup on your "weeds" now?). These are the moments in time, the lessons we are missing. These plastic lives we have created are causing the disengagement of the people in our lives that matter most, our children and in some cases our partners. We aren't allowed to slow down. We aren't permitted to explore our true wild selves. If we don't keep fueling the machine progress will halt and money will be meaningless. The system is fragile.
      What if we let go of the wheel and let our hearts run free. Who would we hurt? Ourselves? Our families? Our bosses?The municipal governments? Now ask yourself who would benefit. This certainly wouldn't be a selfish decision. To be able to share yourself with people emotionally, physically (both in love and in labour) and spiritually. Sharing wisdom, tools, experience with those who wish to be part of your life. Are we really as free as we think? Are we allowing diversity to enter our being? Imagine the benefits to your family, your community and yourself as we enter the world of wild humans. Those living synergistic lives, together with the land. Without clocks to punch and debt to pay. To be truly human is to be free. Like the eagle and the waning cresent moon.
Let's take the time to teach our children that they are a wild being. Let them soar. Let them play. Let them learn in an environment that is fluid and alive. My daughter tells me she can't learn when she is cramping with menstrual pain. Why force her? What you're teaching them is that the system is pain, the system is restrictive and they really aren't free to make their own choices! Is that what you want? Seriously what the fuck have we done? We are missing the point of life and it's not getting better with "progress". 
     It's time to get to work. I hope you will join me.

    

Design Systems for Liberty: Capturing Hard Surface Runoff (part one)

  Water is the elixer of life. I don't need to explain its importance to you, if you have made it this far in life you probably have a good grasp on what water means to your health. The sources of fresh water are diverse in Cascadia, from the unsustainable bottled water we see on store shelves to a crisp spring freshet rolling down a hillside in the majestic old growth forest. One thing they all have in common is they wouldn't exist if it was not for the copious amounts of rainfall the bioregion is blessed with, though increasingly unpredictable in volume.
Currently many watersheds in Cascadia are under immense pressure from industry and urban sprawl. Local boil water advisories are becoming the norm as seasonal inundation paired with poor logging practices and snow melt due to unseasonal warm conditions scrape topsoil from the mountain slopes. The resulting turbidity can last for weeks after the rain event. Households are often forced to boil water for drinking, a costly waste of energy and time. The sad hilarity in this is that the answer is literally falling from the sky, in permaculture design "the problem is the solution".
I have been working on the design of my newly purchased property and decided to include a hard surface runoff calculation as part of the site analysis. This is a very easy thing to do and I am going to explain how I got my numbers. First of all I measured my roof surface to get the total area. You can do this from the roof or architectural drawings of your home. You can achieve close numbers by measuring the foundation of your home but you must be able to calculate for slope, unless you have a flat roof the surface area of your roof will be greater than the area of your building footprint. My roof is 173 m2. Next you need to find the average rainfall calculations for your town. You can get this information through Environment Canada or NOAA in the USA (other sources are likely available). At the Comox airport an average yearly rainfall of 1100mm can be expected. To get volume you simply multiply your surface area by the amount of measured precipitation. In my case 173 m2 × 1100mm = 190,300 litres. Can't do metric? You should learn! (Sq' × inches=gallons) Now that you know what is possible it's time to calculate losses. Every building material will have different losses due to saturation and evaporation. Our asphalt shingle roof loses 10%. This gives us a 0.9 coefficient of loss that we must multiply against our total to achieve a more accurate number. So 190,300 × 0.9 = 171,270 litres. As a family of four this number ends up being 117.3 litres per person per day. The average Canadian uses over 250 L/day according to gov't studies taken from household water metering. You can bet the US figures are similar, given the almost identical 'quality of life' of the two countries. We tend to take fresh water for granted, I believe 100 litres per day to be more than ample to supply a person with all necessary hygienic and cooking needs. We will discuss methods of water conscious living in a future blog post.
   When designing a life of liberty we must take all necessary inputs into account and realize that freedom does require us to work a little. The distractions put forward by corporate media and government often leave us forgetting what we really need to do to provide our families with a healthy living environment that is both sustainable and resists stresses forced onto it by the modern world. We need to apply holistic post modern design strategies. Providing your own water is a great place to start.
Stay tuned as we discuss storage and conservation methods in part two of our discussion on Catching Hard Surface Runoff.

The Year in Review

     The year 2014 is nearing completion and as the soltice passes we take time to reflect on the year that was. We ask ourselves what lessons we have learned, what goals we accomplished and how can we continue to build upon our skills and relationships that sustain us. We give thanks and open up our homes and hearts to friends and family. The last days of December are indeed a very special time of the year.
     To me 2014 was a revolutionary experience. My connection to the earth has never been stronger. At the same time it was a year of tragedy and deep sorrow. The trying times in our lives often reshape us as individuals and these times have begun to strengthen my family and have reconnected many of us that had drifted apart. I hope to build upon these relationships over the next year, I think we will find that many of us are walking parallel paths through life and that once merged our pathways will show new direction and purpose.
     I continue to build knowledge and skills towards a regenerative lifestyle, one that will leave an abundant legacy for those who follow in my footsteps. As Bill Mollison has stated by the prime directive of permaculture, "The only logical decision is to take responsibility of our own existence and that of our children. Make it now." This simple idea serves as a guide to a resilient life. The act of taking back the responsibility for your life is absolutely liberating. With out this basic first step you will have great difficulty in providing a wholesome, caring upbringing for your children. It is essential that we provide them with the life skills and knowledge to carry this forward through the generations.
     The numbers of the new year are adding up to show great meaning in my life, my daughters birthday has the numbers 2 and 15 in it (February 15), also if you add the first two numbers and the last two you get my age (20+15=35). This may not mean anything, but I like the pattern that it presents and I believe that 2015 will be a pivotal year for us. We are moving into a new (to us) home early in the new year, so already there is much anticipation to see what new and exciting things we can do with this property. There are many great features of the landscape, and as we observe and interact with the home and the environment it will begin to show us the potential that it holds.
     I would like to thank my audience for taking the time to read and comment on my musings, I am often amazed by the warm response I get from all of you, this blog has become a great addition to my ongoing education and a fabulous resource of reflection and guidance when I start to feel discouraged. I wish you joyful and loving holiday season, and a new year filled with opportunity and health. See you in 2015!
    

A Personal Revolution

In life we are often confined to a certain roles brought on to us by life choices that sometimes do not play out as we expected. Instead of blaming others it is useful to accept your reality as your own and let your spiritual being guide you in the right direction. The elimination of the word blame from your vocabulary is an important step in your path to personal revolution, for it is difficult to focus on building a better world when you are in the mindset of "it's your fault".
  Too often I here people say that one person can't change the world, or their say or actions makes no difference in the outcome. This is bullshit. This kind of attitude is the reason why so many people are saddled with huge amounts of debt and are stuck in dead end jobs until retirement. You and you alone are responsible for your life, making small changes over a long period of time will lead you to your goals. Be patient. Once you start to realize some of your goals people will begin to take notice, you will start to change the world through your example. If you force it, nature will fight back. This doesn't mean you shouldn't share your goals with other people, social media is a great place to meet like minded individuals, test out brand ideas or get a feel for a particular niche. You will find a good balance of encouragement and criticism along the way, both are great tools, use them to your advantage. Some people may begin to feel alienated by some of your actions, this is normal, you will never see eye to eye with everyone. I would be most careful with family members, they are your direct support group. Make sure you explain yourself and what brought you to the point of personal revolution. I know I have made mistakes along this road in the past and continue to struggle with it. Make amends asap. If you follow three basic ethics (care of the earth, care of people, return the surplus) you will have a much easier time with the transition, and remember it is a long road.
  In my life I have certain long term goals and ideas to help myself accomplish them. I see learning opportunities in even the most mundane of tasks, pattern surrounds us, and using pattern recognition can actually make the boring everyday tasks quite fascinating, albeit often in hindsight. I believe in problem based solutions and voting with your wallet. Even though I am employed by a large faceless corperation, I strive to support local business and someday plan to have my own. Instead of taking on more debt via student loans and such I am working a high paying job and choosing to self educate with online courses and plan on using a portion of my tax return to pay for hands on courses not offered through standard educational pathways. My job is a large portion of my education, transferable skills are in everything we do. At 34 years old I refuse to accept the status quo. Education is a life long endeavor.
The one ethic that is most strained by my current occupation is care of the earth. I am a heavy equipment operator in one of the largest industrial projects on earth, the Alberta tar sands. This requires me to travel 1500km from home twice a month, where I rent a room in Fort McMurray. Here's where I must choose to start giving back to the earth. I do not have a vehicle when I am away, opting to walk to the grocer, where I purchase as much organic food as possible, and refrain from all GMO frankenfood. I ride the bus to and from work every day. When at home I use a good portion of my income on locally grown food, and have started a facebook campain to advocate local growers and crafters (www.facebook.com/comoxvalley100). I function stack my personal vehicle use, making sure to limit my trips to town and accomplish multiple tasks whilst there. I will often park in a central location, then walk or bike to the many different local shops I need to visit. We have sold our home in the country and have purchased a rural property only minutes from downtown. In the summer months my wife is planning to bike to work on a regular basis, and I will be running many of my light duty errands on a bicycle year round, weather permitting. We plan to retrofit our new home with solar panels for electrical generation and I will be installing rain water catchment for irrigation of our perennial based food forest. We are turning oil dollars into a resilient, sustainable homestead that will benefit the community and our family for generations. Using the problem to create a solution. You need to view life with a whole systems approach.
  This journey we are on can take us to places we never thought we would go. As you navigate this crooked path remember to take notes, share your experiences with those who are willing to listen and never give up on yourself. You can change the world, good will always be triumphant.